Monday, 3 April 2017

Snatch that parcel!

There's a new game,
That I've been playing of late,
You can win lots of stuff,
I think it is great!

It's like pass the parcel,
That as a child I played.
Is it still fun?
Did my love of it fade?

Well this game is different,
You can win some cool stuff,
From flights, food and cash,
And if that isn't enough..........

You can be quite mean,
And snatch from a mate,
Maybe open their parcel,
And find something great!

Or if you are kind,
You can pick up from the map,
Sat on your sofa,
With your phone on your lap!

Or you can go for a walk,
And pick up that way,
Enjoying the sun,
Watching trees as they sway.

Sometimes I feel mean,
When I grab a mate's stash,
But they might block the attack,
Stop me increasing my cache.

When a parcel is picked up,
There's six hours to kill,
Till it's locked down,
A prize in, I will!

It's a fun little game,
Played naughty or nice,
But snatch from some players,
And you could pay the price!

Cos they'll nick back their stash,
In the blink of an eye,
And I'll have no more parcels,
Maybe I'll cry?

No, when you are sleeping,
All tucked up in bed,
I'll steal them all back!
Is that something you'll dread?

If you would like to join in,
And play this good game,
It's in the app store,
With prizes to claim.

If you do want to play,
Please input my code,
It's EEG8FD,
That is the end of my ode.

Friday, 24 March 2017

Glasses, glasses everywhere!

I went for my eye test,
Just the other day,
Squinted and struggled,
What will they say?

Do you drive?
No I do not,
That's good,
Cos your vision's not hot!

What work do you do?
Do you stare at a screen?
Yes? You need 'puter glasses,
So the text can be seen.

But I use reading glasses,
Is that so wrong?
No, no, they're no good,
They're rather too strong!

So down I go,
Perusing the frames,
There's many to choose from,
It's all fun and games!

I choose two pairs,
They're on offer you see,
Two for one,
That'll do nicely for me!

So now I've got four pairs!
General, reading and lappy,
Get it wrong,
And my eyes won't be happy!

So I'm sitting here now,
Surrounded by specs,
Chopping and changing,
Depending what's next!

Why can't I have,
Just one pair, not four?
Chopping and changing,
Is really a bore!

I did try varifocals,
But I didn't do well,
They made me feel,
Like I was at sea in a swell!

So for now and a while,
I guess this is best,
Now excuse me dear reader,
My eyes need a rest!

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

The Tempest

Andy looked at the umbrella by the door. Should he go after her, out into the rain, or should he just wait for her to come back?

He walked to the window, looking out at the turbulent weather.

He had always loved Cornwall, with its tempestuous seas and steep cliffs. But somehow, it's very wildness could make him feel uncontrollably angry, make him say things that he shouldn't!

He looked through the window, into the teeming rain. A lone figure walked towards him along the beach. It was Laura! Tall, willowy, beautiful, with her long black hair billowing behind her.

Andy turned and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He put down his empty whisky glass and with trembling hands, smoothed down his hair.

He thought back to earlier, the fight, the harsh words, the recriminations.

He had told her about Claire, the girl that he had met at work, how he had fallen in love with her, wanted to be with her, not Laura!

She had cried and begged, told him that she loved him and that she didn't want him to leave her.

She had run out of the chalet, into the wind and rain, saying that she needed to clear her head, needed to think.

She came closer. What would she say, would she be angry still, or would she accept that it was over?

Perhaps this holiday was a bad idea, maybe he should have told her before they had come.

What was that in her hand? He couldn't quite make it out. Something that she had picked up on the beach and thought may be useful, knowing Laura!

She opened the door, battling against the wind, and stepped into the room.

Her face was set, he couldn't tell what she was thinking, how she felt.

“Laura, talk to me! We need to discuss this, work out where we go from here!”

Her face suddenly became dark, frightening!

“I told you, I don't want you to leave me, I won't let you leave me!” Andy suddenly felt afraid. He had never seen this side of her before.

With horror he realised that she had a length of metal piping in her hand. She raised it above her head.

A look of confusion passed over Andy's face in the split second before the world exploded as Laura brought it crashing down on his head.

He fell to the floor, blood pouring from the wound. He looked up at her. “Why?”

She stood, silently watching as his breathing grew ragged and slow, the pipe dangling in her hand. “You will never leave me Andy, and you will never be with her”, she whispered.

He took his last breath, sighed and went limp, his eyes staring blankly.

Laura turned, opened the door and walked back out into the storm. He would always belong to her now, nobody else could ever have him!

Monday, 13 March 2017

What do you see?

What do you see?
Am I loud?
Am I quiet,
Do I seem proud?

What do you think,
When you look at me.
That I look old?
Is it just my age that you see?

Am I clever?
Do I have a good brain?
Or am I invisible,
Walking home in the rain.

Is my life very blessed?
No worries or care.
Have I lots of money?
Or a house that is bare?

What you see here,
Is the outer shell of me,
Not what's hidden within,
That's what is key!

I am clever,
I am bold,
But what you see.......
Is just old!

Please give a care,
To the person within,
I am special, clever,
Sharp as a pin!

I may be an old lady,
But I've lived a good life,
Raised a family,
Been a good wife!

I've given and helped,
Those worse off than me,
I've learnt and I've given,
Please hear my plea.

When you see me about,
Don't ignore and not see.
I'm not a poor old lady,
I'm special, I'm ME!

Thursday, 12 January 2017

Getting the needle!

It's official!
I've got something new,
Yet another disease,
I'm feeling quite blue!

It's called Pernicious Anaemia,
A vitamin I lack,
And there's only one way,
To get it put back.

It involves jabs,
For the rest of my life.
I'm trying to get a grip,
But it cuts like a knife!

Without the jabs,
I will slowly die,
But I want to feel better,
I sigh, I want to cry!

My first injection,
The pink in the syringe,
In it goes,
It stings and I cringe.

Hours later,
I feel rather odd!
My brain is wired,
But my body is still tired.

I few injections later,
I'm feeling much brighter,
Maybe it's working,
I'm feeling much lighter!

Yes, my body is better,
Much less pain,
I'm happier,
A much clearer brain.

So when my next jab is due,
I'll take it with glee,
Because I'm happy to say,
I'm feeling more like ME!

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Just stick to the rules!

I enter many comps,
On Facebook and Twitter,
I just write the answer,
On to the next, then I flitter.

But oh, deary me,
Some of the comments are sick!
I hope one of them,
Promoters don't pick!

My Grandad is dying,
This laptop would be great!
Let's hope he's still here,
On the big drawing date!

My son's in hospital,
Feeling quite ill,
But I'm home entering this,
I've got much time to kill!

My Mum has got cancer,
She's losing her hair!
Winning shampoo,
Would make her life fair!

Oh woe, is me,
I'm feeling so sad
Winning this tat,
I'd not feel so bad!

Look, here's a picture of my dog,
My unborn tot too,
I'll show all the world,
If my entry goes through.

Please, please, please,
It just asks for a word,
Not sickening long posts,
It's getting absurd!

They like and they love,
Share and cross fingers,
Emoji's are rife,
The annoyance, it lingers!

Now I'm off to enter,
To win something nice,
Perhaps I will tell,
Of my poor sickly mice!

So please have a care,
When entering now,
Just stick to the rules,
And never kowtow!

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Halloween Horror

Jo stepped out of the car, pulling his coat tightly around him, his breath forming clouds of steam in the cold October air.

He smiled to himself. Yes, his plan had gone just like clockwork. This time last year, he had received a call to say that his lifelong, and very rich, friend had disappeared.

He had comforted the family, told them not to worry about the flat – he would deal with things. He'd put the furniture into storage, to keep it safe.

Of course they didn't know about the £100,000 that was hidden in the flat. Andy never did trust banks!

The family had offered to rent him the flat, on the understanding that if his friend returned, he would give it back.

But now, well, it was pretty obvious that he wasn't coming back – he couldn't come back, or could he!

Jo had always had to scrimp and save for everything, nothing ever seemed to go his way, but for Andy, everything was easy. Jobs fell at his feet, as did beautiful women. He led a charmed life.

That night, a year ago, they had argued, Jo had pushed him in a fit of rage, he had fallen, hit his head. It was an accident!

But Jo knew that with his shady past, the police would not see it that way.

He searched the internet – how to dispose of a body!

He needed a large container of some sort – that metal oil drum would do!

He roughly shoved Andy in, poured on the chemicals and sealed the lid!

Hidden amongst the other stored items, it would never be noticed.

Jo entered the building and made his way to the storage unit. He looked around, making sure that he was alone, and unsealed the lid of the drum.

He lifted it slowly, and peered in. There inside was the skeleton of Andy! Clean and white.

'Happy Halloween Mate, he sneered'

He carefully removed the remains from their shrine, dried them and bundled them up in a blanket.

Nobody would ever guess the truth about the realistic looking Halloween decoration in his flat tomorrow night.